Today marks the day that I've officially been found just as long as I was unofficially lost. Today it has been fifteen years since I first met my dad, and I was fifteen on that day. We're equal - reached stasis - our equilibrium is restored. We've been building, rebuilding, restoring and breaking down until we're calmed in this dual symbiosis.
For those of you interested, you may have read HERE about the day I met my dad. This a true account, written many moons ago about the day that changed my life. And kept it changing.
Now, I'm an adult. With children of my own. Children who have Mommies and Daddies in their lives and haven't experienced the pain of not knowing where they've come from. I'm proud to say I've worked hard to prevent them from that black hole. More importantly, they have a "Papa" who loves them dearly and they're little lives are enriched because of it. I cannot imagine being here, being me (albeit a constant shifting definition of me) without my dad.
When I was broken and untrusting, lost inside myself - hiding from the world and its hurts - he reached for me. He held out an unwavering hand and doled out love in copious amounts. He drowned me in it, although at first I couldn't swim. He dove in and supported me, never overburdened, never tiring. When I started to cut through that water with more confidence he stepped back, but always right behind me. Out of the ashes I was reborn - the pheonix, the teenager, then the woman. His love makes me a better Mom, a better daughter, a better friend. He has shown me that although the world can hurt - and DOES, it is better to be hurt and experience greatness than to bunk down in the bogs of fear.
Today, and all other days of my life - I thank him. Thankyou Dad, for restoring myself, my confidence, my worth. For seeing that which was lacking and filling those fractures, quenching my thirsts - driving me on. Without you, I am only a scared girl on a cold street in a strange town. I love you.
We've come a long road, the long way round. Here's to a smoother path together.
My father has written his own post on this momentous day - you can read it here.