Saturday, May 30, 2009

New York Day Four - FAO Schwarz

Today was Jenny's birthday. For her birthday she wanted to cruise Madison Avenue, hit FAO Schwarz and Times Square. Fun for everyone!!!

Make Your Own Muppet Workshop!!!

Pierre the singing pottery man!

The helicopter flyer dude!

Giant Piano - UH HUH we did it BIG style!

Good Times!!

Friday, May 29, 2009

NYC - Rain Rain Go Away...

It's raining in New York City. It's been drizzling for the last two days, prompting us to purchase an umbrella from the nearest "tourist shop" the other day. It's hanging out in my purse, coming out when it's really raining and Jenny and I are lamenting our frizzy hair and weather unluckiness.

For that reason, I've also held off on taking any "real" photographs. I've taken a few of the neighbourhood, a brownstone here and there but for the most part I've only squeezed off "tourist" photos. This is a big disappointment for me at the moment. I was really looking forward to taking my camera out and loving up the big city DAG style. And according to the weather - it's gonna rain today and maybe some of tomorrow. Regardless, it's coming out today and tomorrow - because we're leaving on Sunday morning!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the sun comes out for our day in Central Park. For today (Happy Birthday Jenny!), I'm taking it along to Fifth Avenue and Times Square. C'mon weather. Let's get it together!!


NYC Day Three - The World Trade Center Memorial Museum

Yesterday we visited the World Trade Center Memorial Site. There really are no words for such a humbling place - so instead I just present you with some photos from the day.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day Two - FDNY Baby!!

New York Journal - Day Two!!

Yesterday Jen and I decided to hit SOHO, NOHO and Tribeca to see what we could see. And buy. As it turns out, the best thing we saw that day is firefighters. Also, Jen and I rode the subway for the very first time -OMG that thing is filthy. We'd like to personally thank the little ole lady in orange wellies who told us to go to Century 21 - which was horrible, overcrowded and teeming with mice. Thanks crazy. Have a New Yorker day. Anyway, back to the important things:

Hot. FDNY.

After joking around that they charge per photo and assuring us that their asses look much better OUT of uniform (to which we wholeheartedly disagreed), they were kind enough to allow us to photograph their hotness. Sorta.

We canNOT tell you how exciting this was!!! Viva FDNY!!

SOHO was a very interesting place to be. Lots of exciting (and expensive) shops to peruse and a lot of things to look at. We ate at the SOHO Cafe, great big sandwiches at good prices. All in all we spent around six hours walking around. Until our feet begged for mercy and we hunted around for the rush hour subway.

What a day. A hot, FDNY, hose me off kind of day. More to come!!

Ps - after our hurting ourselves business on Tuesday, I photographed Jen's bruises. Wanna see what disembarking does to Canadians??? LOL....

Peace out!!


Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Wow, what a day yesterday was! I was up and on my way to the Buffalo airport at 6 am yesterday to begin this journey with my girl Jenny. Although I don't have any pics YET, there is plenty of time to get all those duckies in a row. Right now, we're still making sure all our pieces are together.

Flying scared the ever lovin' sh*t out of me, can I just tell you. I've never flown (except for a trip at 3 that I cannot remember), and neither had Jenny. We were two loose canons at the gate, the dueling panic twins... LOL. Strangely enough, once we were ON the plane, there was no getting out of it, so I sorta settled. (Thanks Jenny for holding my hand :)) In fact, everything went almost without a hitch - until I stood up to exit the plane.

....and smashed my head on the carry-on compartment over my head. In all fairness, I still had jello legs from the anxiety of the trip, AND the compartment was empty and so it SOUNDED a lot worse than it was....

Of course, I laughed at myself and resumed disembarking - but Jenny? Oh that Jenny couldn't stop laughing at my stupidity. She laughed and laughed at my expense, but you know that saying: Karma is a bitch to those that need the lesson? OMG - did she get learned. As she giggled away behind me on the stairs out of the plane, she laughed so hard she slipped, fell down four stairs and landed on all four on the tarmac. In front of ten people, with twenty more behind her. And airport staff chasing her down and yelling "MAM! ARE YOU OK?!?!" OMFG. Sweet baby Jesus did we laugh. Way to represent Canada. LMFAO.

After we licked our wounds (in Jenny's case - put cold paper towels on the road rash and bruises), we walked out of the terminal. We had a slight issue at baggage claim - mainly that all our baggage came EXCEPT Jenny's plaid suitcase (which appeared some twenty minutes later) but we survived that too. This guy stood at the exit and was asking us "do we want a cab?". We followed him outside, but then he grabbed my luggage (not Jen's) and headed off at warp speed past all the cabs and towards the parking lot. We were having none of that, so we ran ahead, rescued my luggage and climbed into a legit yellow cab (No Mr. Stranger in a green Aerostar, I DO NOT want a ride).

Needless to say, we made it into Manhattan and to the TINIEST room I've ever seen (seriously, wait till I post some photos). We're living in a closet. A closet with a cubbyhole for a closet. It's not even as wide as my shoulders. BUT - who cares! It's New York bitch!!!

Headed out to Greenwich Village, Soho and Ground Zero today. Look out Manhattan - the Canadian crashers are coming....


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Long Weekends are for the Weak

Whoever decided there should be a long weekend in Canadian spring should be shot. No one goes away. It's too damn cold. And so - despite the long weekend I was working. And every child in this city of 350,000 showed up for my shift.

I was fortunate enough to see both my children off to Daddy's house - a rarity for an off visitation weekend. After they left, I reveled in my newfound freedom. Then? I went to bed at 9 pm. Gawd I'm old. Or something. Instead of painting the town red I was snuggled up in bed because I had to work on Saturday morning. At. 8:45. AM. Of course after I looked after the bazillion children home for the long weekend, I was too tired to paint the town ANYTHING on Saturday night.

Silver lining, Jen came up Saturday night, bringing with her the giant suitcase I'm taking to New York next week. So we rented movies, loaded up on sugar and salt and went straight to work on doing absolutely nothing. I love that girl. She can laze with the best of them. Work ethic is seriously overrated.

Sunday was rather lovely - Jen, myself and the Aftermath headed downtown with our cameras to do some random shooting. After three hours of wandering around we stepped into a coffee house for a latte and some rest. Of course, after placing the order my bank card was declined for insufficient funds - isn't THAT great. The girl who works two jobs - jobs that hold pay for almost a FRIGGIN MONTH before I get my first pay. Now I can't even afford a latte. God help me. I attempted to loop my camera strap around my neck after I climbed up on the barstool but the damn barista refused to kick out the chair. Probably cause she knew I couldn't tip her. Thankfully, the Aftermath swooped in with paper tender and I went on with my life.

I worked Monday. With a bazillion more children. Then my children came home. Goodbye long weekend.

C'mon New York. Seven days and counting . . .

Until then, I leave you with this. Aftermath took the original photo. I cropped it and had some photoshop fun with it. Enjoy . . .

Friday, May 8, 2009

This is what happens.


So, the other day while I was cleaning up at job one, I cracked my gel nail right through the middle. Which? HURT. Also, I was worried that I might lose half my nail in the process so I promptly attached a bandaid to the fracture and went about my day.

The other day I shared with you my list of vacation "do's". Notice that nowhere did I mention spending the morning of your day off in the nail salon being tortured. And....this is what I get for not observing my own rules.

This morning I went down to have the nails removed since job two requires me to work with children and involves frequent handwashing. Oh, and because one was BROKEN. I walked in the salon, expressed my request for removal and sat STUPIFIED while a "technician" (I use this word loosely) yanked them off my fingers. For ten dollars.

Call me crazy, but I'm thinkin' I could have done this myself at home. For free. But I digress.

As I sat there, she grabbed an unused "tip" and jammed it between my fingernail and the gel overlay and ripped it across my finger. Which means? Sixteen layers of natural nail being viciously peeled off. Seriously? Technician? Aren't we supposed to be soaking and grinding? Oddly, it wasn't the broken one I needed to worry about. When she met the still secured nail on the middle finger (ironic, I know) on my right hand, instead of stopping when she met resistance, she tugged HARDER, which resulted in ALL layers of natural nail being ripped from the nail bed and dripping blood on her pretty white towel.

Blood. BLOOD. The bitch made me BLEED! AND?!?! I'm paying for this!!!

Imagine my surprise when she turned to me and asked:

"You want new nail again?"

UM. NO. But I'll take your "technician certificate" off the wall to staunch the bleeding.

Sigh. This is what I get for abandoning my ass groove. Duly noted world. Duly noted.

ps. Although I have restored this blog to white, I am still carrying Maddie in my heart. We have not forgotten. I will never.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

No Moss Growing Under This Fat Ass!

After four CHALLENGING years at university, I am finally reaping the over-worked rewards. My last exam was April 28th, and immediately after I launched campaign "Get a job loser". I have to say, it is a success! As of yesterday I am in possession of two summer jobs.

At least I know the kids will eat for the summer.

That out of the way, I've been L--A--Z--Y! My second job hasn't started yet, so I'm only working occasional nights and weekends at the first. This leaves my days free to accomplish all those things I ignored during the school year. After revising the new "bucket list" for this vacation, I decided I should share it with you!

1. Become re-aquainted with the couch. This takes a tremendous amount of time. Ass grooves don't contour themselves after all.

2. Ingest copious amounts of snack foods. This must be weighed carefully to ensure a balance between chocolate, salty snacks and those of the frozen variety. Thankfully the Canadian weather has warmed enough to allow drumsticks back into my life.

3. Faithfully ignore mounting household chores, including dusting, vacuuming and especially laundry. All three of these things will interrupt completion of #1.

4. Aim to spend the day in pyjamas. In order to observe #3. effectively, it is best to have one outfit set aside to wear daily when you drop off the children at school and pick up morning coffee.

5. While working at #1., it is best to watch a line up of Mystery Diagnosis, Most Daring, Cops and Beach Patrol. This way, you can be fully informed on health issues, social politics and criminal behaviour while enforcing what you already know about the stupidity of other people.

6. Take frequent naps. Television becomes much more interesting if you take small breaks to rest your eyes. Blankets and pillows make this much more effective.

7. Catch up on phone calls. Spend hours chatting to your friends back home while painting toenails and eating snack foods. Although your ass is growing by the minute, there is no excuse for a bad pedicure. In addition, avoid phone calls of the responsible variety. Do not accept calls from bill payments, parents or telemarketers. These are all things that require complete attention and moderate mental acrobatics.

8. Lastly, and most importantly, when spouse and children return home, sigh deeply and claim exhaustion due to your busy, busy days. Give little detail and moderate complaint. Never let them see you relax. Dispose of all snack food wrappers, toenail polish and napping paraphernalia.

Enjoy your vacation!


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Spring Fever

I don't know about the rest of you, but we're all about outside suddenly. The weather has turned lovely up here in Canada, buds shaking loose from the trees and grass sprouting from the warming earth. Yesterday we took the kids out to play around with bubbles and other random activities.

Here are the results: