I know that I've posted a tremendous amount of depressing things lately, but that's where I'm living. Darksville. Deppresso Station. Blacks Corners. You'll find me in any of these places, on the corner of Bitter and Cynical. I'll be under the black rain cloud, you can't miss me.
I have a few questions to toss out into the blogosphere today, random things that I can't get to stop running through my mind. In sharp, pointy heels. Loud, sharp and pointy heels.
When you're suppressed, honestly and truly suffocating under something you can't break free from, and your only options are to either allow the crushing pressure to break you or escape to a place where your soul can be free, what do you do? Does it change your options if you can still admit that you love the suppressing force?
When you feel so very small, too tiny to squeak out your voice, too minuscule to have earned respect or admiration, how do you grow? Do you move out of the tiny mouse hole you inhabit or do you bar the door to prevent being crushed? What if there are two other tiny mouses to protect?
When you are travelling in the same circle, pretending, denying, re-hashing and then dismissing, how can you train your brain to try something new? The definition of crazy is attempting to do something the same way over and over again, but expecting different results. When the only other option is opposite, how do you stop the eddies?
I'm feeling change coming, and it scares me. I've never been alright with change, despite the fact it has been a constant factor in my life. I forget who I was, and I have no idea who I'll become, and I don't know what to do with that black hole.
Universe? You're on notice. I can no longer thwart your impediments on my existence. I'm just sayin'.