Hello, my name is DAG and I think I have a problem.
I am horribly and irrevocably addicted to the television show: Mystery Diagnosis. The Aftermath hates it, and actively tries to hide my remote. But I'm on to him.
I discovered this beauty a few months ago by accident and have been hooked ever since. Who knew that simple salt cravings could indicate a deadly disease?? Ok maybe not simple - consuming an entire bowl of rock salt cannot EVER be good. Or that I could actually wake up one morning and discover my joints are locked in odd positions for ever and ever? Hello! Nice to meet you! I'm the incredible popping princess! Listen, if any of you should witness- say - nocturnal vomiting and drooling? I'm probably dying and you should make sure the doctors take you seriously. Please, save me. I'll thank you later. Probably by listing all your symptoms and assigning you a serious disorder - misery loves company.
In the meantime, I've taken to limiting my salt intake (in case I should miss something important) and have taken to sleeping completely flat with my arms straight out and over Aftermath's face. Just in case.
Cause I have no desire to become a permanent ass scratcher. Kthnxbai.