I Need An Academic Stunt Double

I really do.
Honest.

I'm entering my last term in my BA with honors. Come April, I will be able to wash my hands of English Literature - at least in the academic sense. Except from now until then? I'll be the walking dead.

Usually, the last term is loaded in March. With reading week in the middle of it, us students are the ones you see scurrying about, books laden with arms, papers shoved between our teeth. That's us, sleep deprived, hungry and unwashed. Because? Papers are due. This term, the professors have played an ugly UGLY trick on me.

Each professor (in three of my four classes), had the bright idea of minimizing the March craze by front loading February. Yeah. So two weeks from now - I'm staring down the barrel of four essays, two midterms and a seminar presentation. I'm pretty sure that in about one week, I'll be mumbling incoherent sentences on twitter, neglecting my blog and yours, living in that old student standby: the hoodie. I will not eat three meals a day, I will not have fresh smelling hair and more than likely, someone should pry my drivers licence from my decrepit claw-like typing hands before I kill someone.

I need an academic stunt double. On the double.

DAG