How does YOUR knee taste Mom?

It's official... I suck. This morning was one of those mornings...the ones where despite your best efforts, you can't seem to dislodge the running shoe from the toilet while brushing impossibly curly Thing Two's 6 year old hair, all the while helping to "inside-out" a shirt for 7 year old Thing One AND applying mascara, all in enough time to make it to work. It was also one of the mornings when I forgot that I had two ears and one mouth for a reason. Here's what went down:

Me (searching the kitchen for my keys): Noah. Get. Dressed.

Thing One (head down over a bucket of dinky cars): In a minute.

Me (digging in my purse, still looking for said keys): Not in a minute. Now. We're going to be late.

Thing One: grumble grumble mmmffffttt rrrr. I'm busy.

Me (Up to my elbows in purse shrapnel): NOAH. NOW.

Thing One: Look Mom!!! Look!!

Me (engulfed in a Mary Poppins carpet bag of epic proportions): mmm ggghttfft ssrrtttt!! (Loosely translated as: Noah. I am not going to tell you again. GET DRESSED NOW!!)

Thing One: FINE! FORGET IT! (commence stomping to bedroom).

Coming up from the purse of doom, keys in hand and TRIUMPHANT, I see this on the living room carpet:


I suck. Sorry Noah, Mommy's ears are broken.