Ok, so here I am, in Ottawa for the much anticipated Bluesfest Girls Trip. I've been here...oh lets round up and say: two hours. Verdict? HATE. Here is how I've spent them:
1) Driving around in useless one way circles that go the opposite way I want. 15 minutes.
2) Arriving at the.. um... GHETTO hotel I'm paying $100.00 per night to stay in... AND finding out "oops" the room isn't clean, come back (and I quote) in "about an hour or two". How long exactly is that? He had no answer. 20 minutes.
3) Cruising a cute little pub called the Mayflower for a beer and a quick lunch while waiting for said time to elapse. 10 minutes.
4) Literally SPITTING the food I bit into BACK onto the plate? 2.2 seconds.
(Granted, the pub manager DID apologize for the fries that tasted like retread fish. Turns out no one changed the oil in the deep fryer for, lets go with... a year. Who knew. Free Beer.)
5) Returning to the hotel, finding room clean (high five Jenny!) but then having to provide a second credit card for security (AND I QUOTE: Should we just LET you trash the room?), paying 2.69 per day for internet access and $9.00 a day for parking... 20 mindblowing minutes.
6) Finally getting to the room to find it looks EXACTLY like what I'd have vomited up had I eaten the aforementioned food? TOTAL MINDFUCK. Actual time lost, jaw still slack.
GET. ME. THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. Pronto.