Monday, July 7, 2008

Random Musings ~ May 2007

Sometimes it takes something very little to trigger a big response.
It may sound dramatic, but as I sit here with three stitches in my belly and a month of waiting before the biopsy report, life seems daunting.
When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Rain has a strange affect on me - sometimes I think it's beautiful and I go and dance in it until my clothing is stuck to my skin and raindrops collect on my eyelashes.. and I feel alive. Sometimes it mirrors back a deeper sadness inside my soul, and I feel small.
Today - I am small.
After I left the doctor, I stepped onto campus. People were walking all around me, in couples and thirds, laughing, talking, smiling. I couldn't really hear them. I blame it on the anesthetic. And I blame it on the lump of cotton inside my chest.
I hit the bank - Tim Hortons... and narrowly avoided a serious car accident.
Very narrowly. The cotton in my chest thumped hard...visited my throat.
Shaking, I hit the drugstore for antibiotic cream (for the stitches of course)..spoke with the pharmacist.. know how to care for them now.
Not quite sure how to care for ME though.
Life suddenly seems very simple.. have what you have, do what you want, love who you love. Don't look back, no regrets, get it done.
It seems simple - the universe handing you the permission to reach for your craziest dream.
However - it doesn't provide the key that removes the weight from your feet.
Wishing for longer chains...

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